Tori Spelling Opens Up About Grief and Loss

Actress Tori Spelling is offering a candid reflection on grief, loss, and emotional growth nearly two years after the death of her Beverly Hills, 90210 costar Shannen Doherty. During a Tuesday, June 30 appearance on the Inside of You With Michael Rosenbaum podcast, the 53-year-old actress revealed a striking difference in how she processed Doherty's passing compared to the death of her father, legendary television producer Aaron Spelling.

"I had more of an emotional … outward reaction when Shan passed than my own father," Spelling said during the podcast episode. The admission provides insight into how personal growth and changing perspectives on vulnerability have shaped her experience with loss over the past two decades.

Aaron Spelling, a Hollywood legend who executive produced Beverly Hills, 90210 among numerous other successful television series, died in June 2006 at the age of 83. Doherty, who portrayed Brenda Walsh on the iconic teen drama, was 53 when she died in July 2024 following a battle with breast cancer.

When asked to explain the difference in her emotional responses, Spelling acknowledged that she was younger and less emotionally equipped when her father passed. "I mean, it was 20 years ago," she noted. "I think I had every feeling so repressed. I didn't know how to deal with my feelings that in my mind it was, like, you just go on."

The Mystery Girls alum described her father as "everything to me" and identified herself as a total "daddy's girl." Despite the profound loss, she attempted to suppress her grief and maintain forward momentum. "I mean, he's still my hero and I think about him every single day in my life," Spelling said of her Emmy-winning father.

This pattern of emotional suppression continued when another Beverly Hills, 90210 castmate, Luke Perry, died in March 2019 at age 52 following a stroke. Perry portrayed Dylan McKay on the series alongside Spelling's Donna Martin and Doherty's Brenda Walsh. "I was still in my mode of go on, go on. I was like, inside, 'Just go, you gotta keep going,'" she recalled, explaining that she maintained a "strong front" during that period of loss.

However, when Doherty passed, something shifted fundamentally in how Spelling processed grief. "It was only when Shan passed, I was like, 'Oh my gosh, I can't stop crying.' And this is so un-me," she revealed. The actress acknowledged that she grew up "thinking crying was a sign of weakness," but Doherty's death broke through those long-held defenses.

Spelling attributed the intense emotional response partly to confronting mortality as she ages. "It was this thing — and maybe it's because we're getting older and you start to think of your own mortality and what's going to happen — and it's like, 'Wait, friends my age are passing and this can happen.' That was a hard one," the mother of five explained.

The friendship between Spelling and Doherty had experienced its own evolution over the decades. The two actresses became close while working on Beverly Hills, 90210, which ran from 1990 to 2000. The series featured an ensemble cast including Jennie Garth, Jason Priestley, Ian Ziering, Brian Austin Green, and Gabrielle Carteris, who portrayed Kelly Taylor, Brandon Walsh, Steve Sanders, David Silver, and Andrea Zuckerman, respectively.

Doherty was fired from the teen drama after season four, though she later worked with Aaron Spelling again on Charmed from 1998 to 2001. During the podcast, Spelling reflected on how her relationships with cast members changed as they pursued separate projects. "Shannen and I were best friends and then we weren't. Neither of us really knew why," she remembered.

Fortunately, the actresses reconnected as adults through fan conventions and rekindled their friendship before Doherty's death. "And that meant so much to me and to her," Spelling said, emphasizing the significance of their reconciliation.

Spelling attended the one-year anniversary celebration of Doherty's death, an experience that brought back numerous "memories and tears." The gathering provided an opportunity to reconnect with those who had been important in Doherty's life. "That was beautiful. I got to see her mom again and see her friends," Spelling added.

The actress's reflections offer a window into how individuals process grief differently at various stages of life. Her willingness to discuss the contrast between her responses to these significant losses highlights the importance of emotional authenticity and the ways in which personal growth can transform one's relationship with vulnerability and mourning.