Your Child Turns 18 and Heads to College. Here’s One Thing Parents Often Forget

SOUTH JERSEY — Parents may pay the tuition, room and board and other bills when their child heads off to college, but once that student becomes a legal adult, parents may be surprised by how much authority they no longer automatically have.

Retired financial adviser Jeanne Eisele says families preparing to send a student to college should consider adding legal documents to their back-to-school checklist, including a power of attorney and appropriate health-care documents.

“Parents have to understand one thing when you're sending your child off to college,” Eisele said during an appearance on The Lorry Young Show on WOND. “Once they turn 18, the colleges accept your check to fund the semester, the books, the room, the board, whatever.”

But paying those bills does not necessarily give parents access to their adult child's information or authority to act on the student's behalf.

Eisele, who recently retired after a 50-year career in the financial industry, said families should discuss establishing a durable power of attorney before a student leaves for college.

“The child signs it and gives you authority,” Eisele said.

She also stressed that a financial power of attorney is not the same thing as documents addressing health-care decisions.

“This is — it's not the medical power of attorney either,” Eisele said. “It should have a living will for the kids. God forbid they get hurt in school.”

What happens to parents' rights at 18?

Federal privacy law adds another consideration for families.

Under the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act, commonly known as FERPA, rights involving a student's education records generally transfer from the parents to the student when the student turns 18 or attends a postsecondary institution at any age.

That means parents shouldn't assume that because they are paying tuition, a college must automatically give them access to grades and other educational records.

There are exceptions. The U.S. Department of Education says colleges may disclose education records to parents without the student's consent when the student is a dependent for federal tax purposes. FERPA also allows certain disclosures involving health or safety emergencies and, in some circumstances, alcohol or controlled-substance violations involving students under 21.

Students can also provide consent allowing parents access to information.

That's an important distinction from Eisele's general advice about obtaining a power of attorney: exactly what information a parent can obtain from a college can depend on FERPA, school policy, the student's consent and the circumstances involved.

Eisele's larger message is for families to address those questions before something goes wrong.

“Without those documents,” Eisele said, “you can't intercede.”

She said parents can simultaneously give young adults greater independence while making sure arrangements are in place if help becomes necessary.

“You want to give them credit,” Eisele said. “Let them try and stretch their wings and fly a little bit.”

“But you have to be there to guide them and you've got to be there to help them,” she added.

The discussion can be especially important when a student is attending college far from home and a parent might need to assist with financial or medical matters unexpectedly.

Eisele said parents should consider a general durable power of attorney and separate health-care planning documents, with the adult child voluntarily granting the appropriate authority.

The exact documents and their powers can vary, so families considering them should consult an attorney about their particular circumstances rather than assuming one form covers everything.

For Eisele, the important thing is having that conversation while the transition to college is still being planned.

“You helped them all through high school, grammar school, junior high,” she said. “You got to help them in college.”